Sex is NOT dangerous,
Poor Sex Education IS!
Lets help our children to grow up in a sex positive world,
where who they love, who they are attracted to,
who they spend their time with
is safe, consensual AND pleasurable.
I’m here for TWO reasons…
No. 1 – To provide accurate sex education shared without judgement or bias.
No 2 – Supporting parents and caregivers to create safe and open, judgement free homes to explore, discover and make mistakes.
The fact is, the root of our sexual fears, shame, embarrassment and why sex is so taboo, more often than not stems from our learnings as children, our childhood experiences. You might not even realise that it has happened to you, you might not realise that you are reinforcing those messages to your children. This space is your opportunity to break the cycle and create a sex positive environment.
The Sponge Effect
I’m a mum, I am in your shoes, I have two people relying on me to get them through to adulthood. And I have firsthand knowledge of how easy it is to f**k everything up.
Parents play a critical, if not the most important role, when it comes to sex education. In fact, teens who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sex, have fewer partners and use birth control. Sounds like something we should all be doing, but are we? And is it enough?
“Children learn their sexual behaviours and if these are not sex positive, then they will be another statistic in the therapy room”
The best way to give our children what they need, is to be okay, comfortable and confident with our own sexuality. To understand our own beliefs and values, and ensure that these are truly what we want and need, or are they simply footsteps of those who came before us?!
Children see all, the absorb all, I call this ‘the Sponge Effect’. If they absorb positivity, then in all hopes, this is how they will continue to feel going forward, if they are absorbing our fears and shame, our embarrassment and even issues, then they could create their own more damaging view on pleasure.
87%
of teens say that it would be easier to delay sex and avoid pregnancy if they could have more open conversations about it with their parents.
38%
of teens report that parents are the biggest influence on their decisions about sex.
60%
of LGBT young people do NOT have an adult at home they can talk to.
“Sexual dysfunctions and concerns tend to stem more from childhood experiences and childhood misconceptions than anything else. If we were brought up in a sex positive world, I would be out of a job” Carol Graham, Psychosexual Therapist
This space is about more than how we create sex positivity JUST for our kids, it is about us finding sex positivity and making our own relationship with sex better. It is about breaking the cycle of shame, fear and embarrassment, breaking the cycle that sex topics are taboo.
This space is also a platform to share accurate sex education, not based in fear and danger, but sex positive. By relying on schools to education our children, we are perpetuating the archaic messaging. Schools are not equipped to teach our children about sex, relationships, intimacy and pleasure. It is not like maths, where 2+2 = 4.
YES there is science behind it all, and lots of research too, but at the end of the day this subject is also subjective, and bias and judgemental opinions can easily be imparted.
As parents and caregivers, WE need to take the responsibility for sex education.
Talk with your children regularly, this is not a one-time birds and the bees talk, it is a journey. Talk about friendships, relationships, health, body image, sexual orientation, consent and even research together.
What am i up to?
We, as parents and caregivers, have a duty to our children to be the role models for their success. Break the cycle, and let’s put sex therapists and coaches, like me, out of business!
My first course will be released in the coming months, plus I’m currently writing my first BOOK due for release in early 2024.
The biggie however, is a course coming in 2024 designed for 10-12 year olds supporting them through discovery of sex, relationships, wellness and mental wellbeing. I’m bringing together experts across these fields, together with the design and needs coming straight from the source, my daughter and her friends. Watch this space, you can keep an eye out for updates on social media.